How the Gang Caught Voldemort!
by Twist
Summary: It's nuts! Be warned! PG for violence. But I finally got around to it. I know I should be working on 'Draco' but.... READ!
1. Default Chapter Title

How the Gang Caught Voldemort

  
  
  
  


A/N: YES! I finally got around to typing this up! It's been in my notebook forever! Please read and review! No flames though, I hate them (hee hee). Enjoy!

  
  


Disclaimer: I own nothing!!!!!! HP belongs to JK, Arthur belongs to whoever, and 'Don't forget to step and breathe' belongs to the Wild Thornberrys.

  
  


~~~

  
  


One day as Harry, Ron and Hermione were sitting in potions with Professor Black (Snape had been fired) a voice came over the loudspeaker.

  
  


"Would Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Draco, Minerva and Sirius please report to my office after classes. Don't forget to step and breathe on the way!"

  
  


After Potions the whole lot of them went to Dumbledore's office. There he addressed them.

  
  


"Alright you lot, and I've chosen y'all to come with me to fight him. 'K?

  
  


"Sure!" said the group.

  
  


Later that day, dressed in Muggle clothes, they mounted their tricycles and rode off to 777 Slytherin Street. On top of a hill was a crooked, spooky looking building.

  
  


"I hope he's not as evil anymore." said a shaking Draco.

  
  


"Yeah," said Sirius, "Right."

They made their way up a dirt path that was overgrown with thorn bushes. After what seemed like hours they reached the rotting porch.

  
  


"Gee, how welcoming." muttered Harry as he opened the door with a squeak.

  
  


They looked into the cobwebby foyer.

  
  


Ginny made a frightened squeak. Ron comforted her, "It's all right Ginny, it's 7 against 1 remember?" This seemed to work.

  
  


"Look!" said Hermione, a door was open at the end of a corridor.

  
  


***

  
  


"What do we do, what do we do, what do we do?!?!?" said Professor Flitwick as he paced back and forth, "It's total chaos!"

  
  


"I can do the cha-cha." said Binns.

  
  


"That'll help, Binns, that'll really help." said Professor Vector, "Any ideas Snape?"

  
  


"Why ask me," said Snape, "I'm just the lowly janitor."

  
  
  
  


Snape was in a bad mood because he had gotten fired from his old job and hired as janitor because Filch had retired.

  
  


"I have it!" said Binns, "We can tell the students there's a Basilisk loose!"

  
  


"Yeah, sure, whatever," said Flitwick as he hurried off to make the announcement.

  
  


"I hope Dumbledore gets back soon." said Sinistra.

  
  


***

  
  


The group cautiously made their way forward down the hall. Harry looked in and sighed with relief, "It's only a stairwell, it probably goes to the basement."

  
  



	2. Default Chapter Title

How the Gang Caught Voldemort

  
  


Continued  
  


A/N: Sorry! I didn't think it would cut that last bit off! Oh well, here ya' go! It get's semi-serious in the middle. ::shudders::  
  


"I don't like basements!" cried Draco.  
  
"Get over it." said Ron.  
  
"The group cautiously made their way down into the basement. There they found Voldemort's lab.  
  
"I don't like this...." said Sirius as he looked into a glass jar of eyeballs.  
  
"This is fascinating...." said Minerva.  
  
"What?" asked Dumbledore.  
  
"It's the Muggle Periodic Table of Elements. Wonder what he needs that for." she said.  
  
"Probably to figure out the number of protons are in the atomic nucleus of different chemicals for different potions."  
  
"Yeah, maybe," said McGonagall, "Wait a second," she whirled around to see none other than Voldemort himself leaning on the banister. The rest were in body-binds.  
  
"You walked right into my trap and now I can do whatever I want to you. Olivatius." he said.  
  
The dark spell hit Minerva like a rock. She felt herself being thrown against the wall.  
  
"Animigus!" she cried and, in her cat form, pounced.  
  
Suddenly the story took a turn for sheer weirdness and Binns ran in.  


"I have a talking Arthur doll!"  
  
"Squeeze my toe and we can play a game!" said Arthur.  
  
"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!" screamed Voldemort and out of the door straight into 50 hit wizards, "Ummm... oops?"  
  
"Yes oops," said Fudge, "You're getting the worst sentence Azkaban has to offer."  
  
"No! Not..."  
  
"Yes that." said Fudge and with that they dragged Voldemort off.  
  
"Thank you Binns," said Harry, "I owe you one."  
  
"Think nothing of it citizen." said Binns, and with that they rode off on their tricycles.  
Meanwhile in Azkaban......  
"This one goes to Gladys Gludgeon..."  
  
*Sigh*  
  
"Yes isn't that romantic?"  


"I did wrong, yeah, but did I HAVE to end up as Lockhart's personal secretary?"  
  
"SHUT UP YOU!!!" shouted Lockhart as he suddenly turned into Mr.Korous (my math teacher), "RED CARD!!!! RED 

CARD!!!!!"  
  
"I don't have parents."  
  
"Well than you will be forced to learn my crap."  
  
"Uh-oh"  
  
A/N: Told you it was insane...... HOPE YOU LIKED IT!!!!!!!!!!

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  



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